Sooo... Haven't written anything here in a while.
Maybe this had something to do with a "what's the point" notion after a certain Discord incident, maybe it's just an excuse because I'm getting discharged from the army soon and I want to focus on figuring out what I want to do with my life.
Things that happened with me for the few weeks I didn't write anything:
Signed up for an Israeli SAT course.
The test itself is in April, and it's the last test I can take and also start studying this year (which is on October 2020).
There's some pressure to do well, sure, but having gone through some harsh experiences in the last 3 years, I've learned not to try and rush things.
People in Israel usually take their time, prepping themselves thoroughly before they decide to go to college, so even if it could be attributed to some "race against time" kind of sentiment, it'd be for the best not to mentally anguish myself for no good enough a reason.
Started looking for a part-time job.
I was thinking about trying to work at a restaurant, maybe apply to be a cook somewhere or a bartender.
I figured I could lay my hand on some useful skills, work some more on my social skills, etc.
I already applied for a Thai restaurant, some "fancy" burger restaurant, working as a bartender at an Irish pub, and also being a barista at a café.
Another option is trying to apply for a helpdesk/IT job at a high-tech company. I'll have to figure out how realistic this option really is.
Got a certificate of excellence from the army!
Not to go into any details due to their being classified, I had worked very hard for no real benefits and had not received any sort of appreciation for my work.
After 2 and 7 months of working non stop until 2 AM, staying long weekends at the base, going through guard and kitchen duties, being bossed around by commanders and even other soldiers, having been made fun of and not being able to stand up for myself as much as I should, this is a first real indication of a conclusion.
Even though I'm not really a fighter or anything like that, I really have gone through a lot of crap. I had to figure out how to deal with people who were hostile towards me, had to learn how to not let people step all over me to get what they want, etc.
I'm glad it's finally going to be over though, and hopefully all the skills I had acquired during my service will help me deal with the real world and reach my goals, eventually.
Also, today's Yom Kippur I guess.
I'm not really religious in any form or way, I'm really just a secular person who browses obscure sites on the web.
I guess I might even meet the definition of being agnostic, maybe even an atheist;
For those of you who don't know, Yom Kippur is this day during the October-November period, where you'd fast to atone for your sins towards god, as well as towards other people.
However, rather than focus on the "sins towards god" part, people tend to focus on sins against other people, and at this time of the year, you'd see a lot of people texting and sending letters about their "being sorry if they've offended or hurt you in anyway", wishing you an easy fast and that you may be "signed and sealed in the book of life
Thus, not being able to really detach myself from all the wrongs I had to right this year, I started thinking about people I should probably send an apology to.
I don't know if I'll actually send them all the apology, but the least I can do is be honest with myself so that I don't ever behave the same way again.
LIST IS TO BE CONTINUED~